May 2012
5 posts
how i'm spending my day off:
martinis, roasted vegetables and drag race on netflix. :)
i just packed my boyfriend's lunch for tomorrow.
i feel so married it’s ridiculous.
it puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets...
IN CELEBRATION OF NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, DO...
Ask and I'll answer...
1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
11: Top or bottom?
12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug?
14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
23: How big is too big (peniswise):
24: One sexual thing you would never do:
25: Biggest turn on:
26: Three spots that drive you insane:
27: Worst possible time to get horny:
28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
35: What your favorite part of your body:
36: Favorite foreplay activities:
37: Love (>,
38: What do you wear to bed?
39: When was the first time you masturbated:
40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
49: Most attractive celebrity?
50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
54: Do you have stretch marks?
55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
66: Do you watch porn?
67: How small is too small?
68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
74: Booty or Boobs?
75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
76: Have you ever been on an official date?
77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
April 2012
1 post
99.9 hours in the last pay period.
11.5 hours tomorrow. i work too god damn much.
March 2012
91 posts
i'm a wreck.
internationaltoadfanclub:
Jolene | Dolly Parton...
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Watchcoleycalifornia:
kickstart-thatfeeling:
i don’t want to live in the world anymore.
wtf…………..
FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN. OMG.
Watchelevan:
Shangela vs. Mimi Imfurst
thank you, shangela. mimi was a fucking idiot.
Watchtyleroakley:
assgod:
turgle:
You can stop pretending you think Shia Labeouf is attractive any time now
but…
unffff.
